Archive | Tude

A Love Letter to the Shapeshifters, People Pleasers & Approval Seekers

By Tahlee on September 2, 2020 in Mood, Tude

Image credit: Mandy Lynne Photography

I used to think I was a sponge, absorbing other people’s opinions until I was so sodden I couldn’t move.

No original thought in my head. No unique song in my heart

There was no mental dexterity, no propulsion. Only cumulonimbi of confusion.

Sound familiar?

This love letter is for you.

Dearest comrade,

There is a chance for your unique brilliance to emerge.

The most powerful question to become exquisitely attuned to is “What do I want?”

And this ain’t no frou frou decision, no frivolous undertaking. This is raw, honest, heart cracking, spirit searching, self inquiry.

You are not a wisp or a shadow. Not a sponge, nor carbon copy. You aren’t even a reflection of those around you.

Right now, there is a kernel.

A seed of a being sequestered under layers of persona soil.

And in order to pause the influence of the shapeshifter; to halt the hand of the People Pleaser; to quiet the quest of approval being sought and to grow the seed of your true self into full bloom?

I offer you this.

Stillness

Queitude.

No heavy handedness or self critique.

But a gentle guidance system of faultless wisdom - a homing pigeon…a satellite…magnetic north.

It begins with permission, travels through worthiness and ends in deep self acceptance.

To begin the awareness, the honouring of the sweet whispers (or even the loud bellows) of what it is that is true.for.you.

Even if it begins with the painful ache of “This isn’t what I want”, “This is NOT what I signed up for” or a mere utterance of “Uh-oh”.

I implore you to drop judgement. This is a fantastic place to begin. These signposts are here to remind you a way back home to yourself.

Trust them.

Trust yourself.

Trust.

You really do have everything you need, right within this precious moment.

To figure it out.
To make a decision.
To walk away.
To stay.
To have that conversation.
To say ‘No Thank You’
To say ‘Yes Please’
To say ‘I don’t know’ and to leave it at that, without explanation or apology

It is ok to want to do your best. It is more than fine to care about the outcome. But let praise (for all our sake’s) be the cherry, not the sundae; the pat on the back, not the purpose; the delight but not the drive.

So claim your dreams, follow that inkling of an idea, allow yourself your needs, and revel in goddamn ecstasy.

Because you are so very worthy of your desires. You were BORN worthy.

These words are a pouring out of one shapeshifter’s heart to another; one recovering people pleaser; one (mostly) ex approval seeker. These words are inspired by my beautiful clients who are claiming back their power. These words are a reminder to myself.

With the deepest of bows to you,

Tahlee

PS - Do you know someone who struggles to stand tall in their truth? Be a darling and share these words of encouragement with them. It might just be the thing they need to read today.

Body Image Detox - How to really get the body of your dreams

By Tahlee on August 27, 2020 in Tude

Body Image Detox

Spring is in the air (in Australia) - especially where I live in Queensland. Blue skies, warm sunshine, birds singing. You get the idea.

So of course, it’s that time of year when everyone starts talking about losing the winter weight, spring cleaning and the ubiquitous detox. Which is all fine.

But that only covers your body. What about your body image?

If you’re anything like me and mah girl Dani from Forever Glow, then you’ve suffered from poor body image. Maybe you still do.

Dani and I both know what kind of impact poor body image has (hint: it affects ev.ry.thing!) and we’ve both done a lot of work to be able to smile at our reflections.

So we’ve put our heads together and designed a free webinar to help you detox YOUR body image.

We’ll share our personal journey’s of how we transformed our body image. Plus you’ll learn:

How to glow inside AND out;
How to do a 180 from self loathing to self love; and
The two most important factors for rocking your body, right now!

It’s gonna be fun (Dani and I always make each other laugh when we’re together), interactive (you’ll get A’s to your Q’s) and insightful (we’re all about practical wisdom!)

Click here to register - remember it’s free, free, free! Don’t delay because places are limited and we wouldn’t want you to miss out.

PS - This event is part of Body Image Awareness Week. Check out the fabulous work of the Butterfly Foundation who support Australians experiencing eating disorders.

With Roots You Blossom

By Tahlee on August 6, 2020 in Mood, Tude

roots=blosom

In nature, it is so clear that an uprooted plant will wither and die. Unless you gently place it back in the earth and tend to it’s needs.

Humans are no different.

You need a daily grounding practice in order to come home to yourself, and feel confident and comfortable in your skin.

The taller / bigger / more expansive you want to grow, the stronger and deeper the roots need to be.

I know in my life that any time I’ve blossomed is when I’ve connected to my roots. To my power.

Ritual and routine help a lot. Now that I’m back on the path of entrepreneurship, I’ve found that having a certain amount of routine in an otherwise uncertain week, can help me stay present. In his incredible book, Uncertainty, Jonathan Fields calls these rituals ‘certainty anchors’.

They are grounding experiences to which you can always return, no matter what’s going on. Their consistency makes them effective tools to counter the anxiety that comes not only from living in uncertain times, but from embracing endeavors that ramp uncertainty even higher.

One of my certainty anchors is starting the day out with a healthy breakfast and my Pilates stretches. I know it will happen every day, and gives me the confidence and flexibility (both physically and mentally) to move forward with my day gracefully.

But even more than little rituals or every day routines - present moment training has helped me blossom the most.

Practices like mindfulness, diaphragmatic breathing and meditation quell the anxiety and reconnect me to my power.

Before I go to sleep at night, I listen to a meditones track. It’s very reassuring and keeps me in the flow. But if I forget one night, the days that follow aren’t nearly as nice. Something feels ‘off’ until I remember “Oh yeah, I need to meditate!”.

As Ishita Gupta (founder of Fear.less magazine) put it:

Unless you have something that brings you back to your core every single day, it’s going to be hard on the journey.

Ironically, ‘stuckness’ is a sign that I’m not grounded. I’m rooted in a different way, in every sense of that word.

When thoughts are swirling, emotions overwhelming and chaos reigns supreme - there is no way I’m grounded in the present moment. I’m too busy future tripping and so full of self doubt that decisions, let alone actions, become impossible.

Sound familiar?

The thing is, once you’ve become grounded mentally, physically and emotionally – life expands. Consciousness lifts and possibilities abound. - click to tweet

This is key to losing the weight loss obsession; to releasing shame; to progression; empowerment, confidence and clarity.

I’ve found a theme in the clients that I’ve coached.

They’re not just feeling stuck around eating issues or weight gain or a lack of self love. They’ve become disconnected from their power.

This is why I’ve done an overhaul to Attitude Coaching.

It’s now called EmpowerMentoring.

And it’s all about helping you connect back to your internal power; to get you unstuck and ground you in your truth.

If you’re seeking more clarity or confidence; self love or a sense of safety; or even just the ability to look in the mirror and smile - I encourage you to come check out EmpowerMentoring. I would LOVE to work together so you can blossom to your most fullest, kick-ass potential.

Whatever is holding you back right now, I guarantee it is because you’ve become disconnected from your power. From your roots.

Get out of your head and back into yourself. Into your body. Into the present.

Breathe, exhale and watch yourself bloom.

Got a friend who you’d love to see bloom more fully? Share this post with them and then bask in their glory!

What ‘After Earth’ Taught Me About Overcoming Fear

By Tahlee on July 2, 2020 in Tude

kitai-ursa

That you need not fear anything. Except the giant monster that feeds on fear.

It was Friday date night and my boyfrien’ and I were off to the movies. We’re both total sci-fi sluts and were off to geek out.

*spoiler alert* *many many spoiler alerts*

The major premise of the movie After Earth is that humans have been evacuated from Earth (because we screwed it so bad) and onto another planet. That planet happens to be coveted by a bunch of aliens.

So they biologically craft a massive blind (!) monster that can smell fear and then sick ‘em on the humans.

(A bit silly if you ask me. Why wouldn’t you give them sight as well as a panic sensor? Then they’d be UNSTOPPABLE!)

Anywho, I digress.

Where the movie gets interesting is that Cypher (Will Smith) has figured out how to kill the monsters. By not being afraid.

Because if you don’t have any fear, the monsters can’t “see” you.

But now Cypher and his son Kitai (Will Smith’s real life son, Jaden Smith) have crash landed on Earth after a mission to transport an Ursa (the giant monster that feeds on fear) went wrong.

Big problem is, Earth hates them. All the animals and plants have evolved to pretty much search, kill and destroy. Plus, you know, the Ursa. It’s wandering around too.

So while Cypher is stuck in the crash zone and giving himself an arterial bypass (ew!), his son has to navigate the dangers and terrors to get the beacon that will signal their rescue.

Understandably, Kitai is terrified. But he pretty much has no choice.

Due to some funky futuristic technology – Cypher can see Kitai and help him out by giving him directions, pointing out when angry monkeys are heading his way, and getting him to not crap himself. Or die.

And as always, sci-fi has some important things to teach us about life.

So if you find yourself struggling with anxiety, panic, fear or overwhelm – listen up. These 3 clues aren’t just for soldiers trying to hitch a ride on a spaceship. They’re perfect for you too.

1. Take a knee

Ah, I LOVE this command. Cypher says it to Kitai often. It’s obviously been a part of their military training back home and it literally means “stop and kneel on one knee”.

When you’re totally freaking out, you need a way to activate the pause so you can grasp the truth and figure out what is really happening.

It might not be appropriate for you to kneel where you are, but what other way can you use your body to stop the mounting terror and calm yourself?

What pose can you assume that helps you feel present and serene?

Check out Amy Cuddy’s TED talk for more ways you can use body posture to increase calm confidence.

2. Ground yourself in the present moment by using your senses

After Kitai has ‘taken a knee’ Cypher asks him to describe what he can see, smell and feel.

This is a perfect grounding technique and is one I use often. By using your senses to describe your environment, your attention is guided out of future tripping and back into the present reality.

It goes like this.

You repeat to yourself the following mantra:
I can see _____________
I can hear ____________
I can smell ______________
I can feel _____________

With each iteration, let your poetic license take over. Describe things in luscious detail and I guarantee you can discover the real beauty evident in each present moment.

I can see the sunlight flicker across the rippling surface of the water
I can hear the steady thrum of distant traffic
I can smell the faint lingering cologne of the stranger who passed by
I can feel the cool breeze caress my cheek

3. Danger is real, fear is a choice

Remember that most of the time you’re afraid of nothing. Seriously. Nothing.

There’s a scene where Kitai has just escaped from the death-threatening monkeys but he’s still running. He’s so scared that he can’t see that the danger is no longer there.

Fear truly is in the mind. Sure, we need to be mindful of danger. There’s no need to provoke the angry monkeys, or go play chicken on the highway.

But if you’re anything like me, I bet the stuff you’re scared of has little to no basis in reality. It’s the anxiety of “what if’s” that hold you back.

What if the business doesn’t work? What if no one at the party likes me? What if I sound like an idiot in the interview? What if people think I’m fat? What if I get laughed at / rejected / hurt?

There’s just no way you can live your life of awesomeness when you’re tripping in the future.

So training the mind to stay calm and present is a lifesaver (literally) AND helps you get on with the world changing stuff you want to do.

Obviously I think meditation and music are the best ways to train your mind to give you presence and resilience.

But there are lots of things that help. Deep breathing, regular exercise, good nutrition, yoga, and body work like massage or kinesiology – all help to calm the senses.

And really at the end of the day, all of it is a practice. The more you practice mindful training the more you can call on it when the shit hits the fan and you find yourself fleeing from rabid monkeys.

Or when that big report is due.

Got a friend who’s freaking out right now? Get them to take a knee. Then share this post with them so they know what the hell you’re talking about.

What’s Calling You Now?

By Tahlee on June 18, 2020 in Mood, Tude

rumi-quote

The myth of “a calling” seems to be prevalent in our society.

The idea that you need to find your “one true purpose” causes a great deal of stress for those of us who are fascinated by the new (ahem, me *cough cough*)

Marie Forleo coined the term “multi-passionate entrepreneur” and I for one heartily resonate.

You see, I’ve changed careers no less than 6 times. I completed my Bachelor of Music at uni and tried to be a performing artist. I then co-founded a meditation music business which I ran for 8 years. I’ve also been an Arts Administrator for a non-profit graphic design company, an Environmental Project Manager for a mining company, a Personal Trainer and now an Attitude Coach.

Each time, I was wholeheartedly passionate about what I did and threw myself into the work. I loved all of those jobs and had many hours of fulfilment out of them…

Until I would feel the familiar yearning. The itchy feet. Spurring me on to follow my new found interest.

Now these disparate jobs may be seen by many as done by someone who is “flaky” or “inconsistent. Like having multiple interests, or changing your mind is a problem.

Of course I disagree. Each of these roles fulfilled a calling. They served a purpose.

Tara Mohr put it brilliantly in her course, Playing Big (which I’ve been doing for the last 8 months):

Callings evolve and end. They are many and they are fluid. - click to tweet

Also, callings aren’t always centred around career. There are many callings that involve creative expression, supporting a loved one, or fighting an injustice.

Right now, I’m being called back to music again.

When I was running my meditation music business, I truly felt I had found my place. When I let go of it in 2010, I stopped writing music completely. Part of me missed it and I lost a huge part of my identity. Music had been a massive part of my life since I was 5 years old.

But there were other pursuits calling me.

At times, I wanted to get back into music but I wasn’t sure how. I had no reason for it. No purpose. So I thought.

At the beginning of the year, I realised music had become my calling again.

It seems even The Attitude Revolution is an evolution of interlinked callings. All the topics here of Food, Mood, Do and Tude represent my many interests in eating well, feeling good, moving well and thinking well.

Issues with food, overexercising, poor body image and self loathing all stem from one place.

The mind.

These are all mental health issues and need to be treated as such.

So it seems very natural to return to creating meditation music again. And it’s why I’m so excited to use meditones in my music again. Meditones is a technology that I co-developed all those years ago that makes meditation so effortless.

I’ve personally experienced and witnessed the power of meditones to heal anxiety, improve emotional resilience, bring confidence and clarity and really change lives.

In essence, meditones literally help you Change Your Mind. About your body, about yourself and your world. Check out this fun video to get a sneak preview of how meditones work.

What about you comrade? What’s calling you right now?

Do you know someone who could use some help feeling more calm or confident? Share this post or the meditones page with them. You could be doing them a massive favour!