The Path of Least Resistance

Watching Kick Ass Kung Fu a few weeks ago, I felt a yearning melancholy mixed with disappointment.

I’d been housebound and feeling quite limited with a knee injury.

Watching street kids tough it out in a Chinese monastery as they underwent their training made me reflect on my desire to be strong.

I’ve always wanted to be tough. Strong. Fierce.

I’ve always been attracted to strong female characters.

Lori Petty in Tank Girl was my teenage idol. I wanted toned arms and to be able to do a pull up like Linda Hamilton in Terminator 2.

7 of 9, Run Lola Run, Princess Mononoke…

The list goes on.

Some of my sheroes

Their mix of physical strength, emotional endurance, passion and vulnerability had me hooked.

And yet, I don’t identify with them.

I never have.

I’ve never thought I was tough.

With a body like mine, who would?

It’s soft, fragile, prone to sickness and injury.

Weak.

Until I remembered that pain is not the only path to discipline.

Struggle, strife and effort are only one side of the story.

To be honest, I think balls out exertion is actually easier.

Because I’ve trodden the path of pain.

Often and well.

I’ve pushed through workouts - even after tearing muscles and ligaments.

I’ve burned the midnight candle, met deadlines, worked 4 jobs at one time (more than once), taken Sudafed and “soldiered on”.

And still I felt weak.

And now the question remains…

Am I strong enough to take the path of least resistance?

Am I tough enough to choose ease, to choose trust, forgiveness and calm?

Am I disciplined enough to choose radical self love and fierce self care?

Am I steadfast enough to put my needs first and be gentle with myself?

Can I release the guilty conflation that somehow empowerment is akin to selfishness?

Can I let go of my need for control, to relentlessly drive forward my dreams and let them flourish organically?

Because here’s the thing.

If I don’t make preventative self care and ‘kindness somethin’ fierce‘ a priority now - when my business takes off, when the ‘life of my dreams’ magically appears - there still won’t be time for those things.

We must weave the fabric of our desires with threads of gentle action and powerful release. - click to tweet

There is no other way.

Burnout. Brute Force. Blind ambition. Let these things be a forgiven memory.

For your sake, I invite you to do the same.

{ps - if you have a friend on struggle street right now, remind them they’re not alone. Share this post with them.}