The Attitude Revolution

ATTITUDE COACHING IS HERE!!!

By Tahlee on May 14, 2013 in Attitude Revolution, Do, Food, Mood, Tude

Tahlee-excited

I am so excited to bust out this big, beautiful dream o’ mine. Can’t you tell?

Seriously you guys, this one has been in the works for years – so I am a pretty proud pumpkin right now.

I’m also grateful grapefruit.

Because no dream comes to fruition (haha) without a little help from your friends.

So I would like to take this opportunity to publicly thank my partner for supporting ALL of my crazy ideas (all. of. them); my soul sister Dani from Organically Beautiful; my soulpreneur tribe who support me and show me what’s possible - Jess Ainscough, Tara Bliss, Yvette Luciano, Alana Scheikowski, Susana Frioni, Rachel Macdonald and Kate Byrne.

And of course – thank YOU. Yes you, my fabulous comrade. Thank you for sharing this journey with me. I love our community!

Without further ado – click over to the Work With Me page to learn all about Attitude Coaching.

With a massive battlecry of love and a deep bow of gratitude,

Tahlee

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Happy International No Diet Day!

By Tahlee on May 7, 2013 in Do, Food, Mood, Tude

tara-stiles-quote

Remember when I got fed up with the diet industry and wrote this post about losing the weight loss obsession and the internet exploded?

Well, my beautiful friend Mel from Five Words designed a cool infographic poster (below) PLUS a poster of the whole blog post.

Now, whenever you need some inspo to help you ditch the diet and reclaim your life back – all you need to do is turn to your wall.

These A3 posters are now available from my Cafe Press web store. They’ll be printed on beautiful stock and posted directly to you.

And not a moment too soon – because today is International No Diet Day! {Technically in the Southern Hemisphere it was yesterday but hey – let’s celebrate it ALL year round, I say!}

It’s so easy to become overwhelmed with body yuck and self loathing. We are constantly bombarded by messages that we aren’t good enough.

International No Diet Day is a day to celebrate the magnificence of our bodies without deprivation, calorie counting or purging. A day to forget the weight loss obsession – even if it’s only for one day.

Because the more you celebrate INDD, the more likely you are to make it every day. The more you make it every day, the more inner peace you’ll have. And the more inner peace you’ll have – the more global peace there will be.

Pretty meta, huh?!

I truly believe that the most important rule of the 10 rules for weight obsession loss is Number 10 – Replace the obsession. We really do need to cultivate a more loving, peaceful world. But it starts with each and every one of us cultivating a more loving and peaceful inner world. And you can’t do that when you’re hung up on your body and full of shame.

Remember – check out the beautiful posters that Mel has designed. And share this post with everyone you know. Eating disorders and self loathing are often shrouded in shame. You might not have any idea who is struggling, and you just never know who’ll you be helping out.

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The power of asking (also receiving) and actualisation

By Tahlee on April 16, 2013 in Mood, Tude

No matter what you think of Amanda Palmer’s music, or even if you’ve never heard of her – I highly recommend taking 18 minutes out of your day to watch her TED talk.

She knows a thing or two about the power of community. Her talk is insipiring and deeply moving.

You know what else is moving?

You guys.

I was really touched by all who reached out last week after I posted about being in hospital. The well wishes and offers of assistance were so beautiful and I’m so very grateful.

But this week I’ve been thinking…

I didn’t really take anyone up on their offer of help. To be honest, I didn’t really need much. (I’m fortunate to have a very caring and supportive partner). But also, what I did need, I didn’t really feel I COULD ask for.

It was the little things. Someone to do the dishes or take down the garbage. Especially so my partner could have a break. It seemed strange to me to say to someone “Sure, I’d love for you to come over and do a load of laundry”. But I also wondered, am I too proud to not receive help it when it’s offered?

My gorgeous friend Dani came over one afternoon to pamper me with chai, raw chocolate and an eco-friendly mani/pedi.

Mani from Dani

Before she arrived I found myself hobbling around trying to clean. Then I remembered, she’s my friend. She wasn’t going to care if there were dirty dishes in the sink, or if the house was untidy. Giving myself permission to allow things to be as they were – untidy, unkempt and imperfect – was such a relief.

Realising I needed to be comfortable with receiving nurturing was quite an eye opener.

And as always, my business and my life have become a mirror.

Self care is still something I let slide. I can easily get caught up in taking on too much or getting carried away with exciting work. I have a tendency to obsess over minutiae and can be a bit of a worry wart.

But during the goal setting session with Susana the other week, I chose two goals.

1. To create a thriving and creative coaching practice; and

2. To have self care as my #1 priority

Now, many people (myself included at times) would see those goals as mutually exclusive. A contradiction in terms.

Setting up a business is hard work. Isn’t it?

Going after your dreams, living a life of passion and purpose, being of service. These things all require sacrifice, effort, late nights, blood, sweat and tears. Don’t they?

Isn’t this what we’ve always been taught? That perseverance, sucking it up, and enduring is the only way to get what we want.

Bollocks to that!!!

I want to show myself that goals can be achieved with grace, nourishment and joy. And I want you guys to all do the same.

This is the difference between nose-to-the-grindstone-ego-driven-ambition and actualisation. Actualisation makes room for all the good stuff. It doesn’t ignore the body’s needs or the heart’s desires. It incorporates them beautifully.

Actualisation is the process of becoming more you. It’s full of self acceptance, humour, creativity and fellowship. In fact, actualisation is part of the meaning behind my dragonfly tattoo (you can see a photo of it here).

How much better does the power of actualisation over ambition sound? Let’s shed our hardened stories of aspirational suffering and embrace the concept of ease.

5 ways this could work

1. Focus on the Most Important Things (MIT)

For me, this is only doing what is necessary to launch my coaching practice and run my business. Everything else is white noise. The stream of social media, sweating the small stuff, obsessive planning – can all be released.

What are your MIT’s when it comes to living your dream?

2. Enjoy the ‘Slow down’

With a physical injury, I LITERALLY have to take the stairs one at a time. Sometimes it’s frustrating because I want to race down them. What a beautiful metaphor. Most days I feel like I’m racing from one thing to the next, never stopping to be present in what I’m doing, and often feeling like I’ve never done enough. When I’m working, I should be working out. When I’m resting, I should be writing. Et cetera. Et cetera.

Actually being ‘ok’ with the present moment, even during tedious or restful moments, makes it that much more enjoyable. Gently does it, comrade.

3. Trust the process

I can’t rush the healing process any more than I can rush the growth of my business.

Words cannot describe how much I love coaching. How much I enjoy witnessing the epiphanies, and the shift in perception. How much I love getting emails from you guys and connecting online. I want our tribe to expand and for so many people all around the world to begin the journey of self love.

This takes time, patience and trust. All I have to do is show up and do my best. The same applies to you. Where in your life can you allow your goal to develop and flourish without trying to push or force it?

4. Make space for your Self

What would happen if you gave the best of yourself, to you, first? – click to tweet

This has become my mantra. For this to happen, I need to make space for my coaching launch. So rather than creating new content for the blog in the next few weeks, I’ll be resurrecting some previous content (which you may not have seen if you’re new around these parts). I’m also looking at a few changes to the blog format going forward and making special content for my lovely email subscribers (make sure you’re on the list by signing up in the top right hand box!)

5. Ask for help

Aaaaaand we’ve come full circle!

Where do you need support in your life in order to reach your goals? Is it as simple as asking your partner to cook dinner for a week? Or hiring a babysitter once a month? Or do you need a compassionate and supportive coach (wink wink nudge nudge)? You don’t have to white-knuckle through it on your own.

So here’s my request for help.

I’d love help spreading the word about The Attitude Revolution. If you know someone who could use some more self love in their life, shoot them an email with the website link or suggest the Facebook page to them.

What about you comrade? Do you find the path of ease a foreign concept when it comes to achieving your goals? Do you think self care is selfish? What came up for you with the idea of putting your needs first? Share in the comments below…

PS – If you’re currently on the mailing list to receive these broadcasts and you’re interested in Attitude Coaching, make sure you sign up for those updates too. I’ll only be sending info (and special coaching bonuses) to people on that list so click here to get all the goss.

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So, I’ve been in the hospital…Or The Seemingly Comic Timing of the Universe

By Tahlee on April 10, 2013 in Tude

Pretty much how I’ve been feeling lately

It was Sunday night. I had just finished a sumptuous session of reflection and celebration of the last three months. Led by the divine Susana Frioni and attended by an intimate group of powerful women.

I was feeling all jazzed about the first quarter of the year and ready to embrace the next one. I had scheduled the date for my upcoming coaching launch (yeeeeehaw) and things were looking great.

But as I was getting ready for bed, I felt what I later described as “crushing pelvic pain” in my lower abs. Now, I hadn’t been doing 1000 sit ups so I knew it wasn’t muscular. And I have a history of lower back and hip issues, so I thought perhaps I’d been sitting on the floor for too long, and preceded to do some stretches.

Unfortunately, it didn’t seem to help – so I tried something I’ve never done before. EFT. Or Emotional Freedom Technique. Or Tapping. I used the technique that Marie Forleo learned in this interview.

So I was tapping away repeating silently “Even though I have all this pain in my body, I choose to relax”.

This became my mantra as I lay in bed trying to sleep.

But the pain worsened.

My partner got me some Panadol and I got about an hour’s sleep.

When I awoke I knew two things. I gotta pee. And something was very wrong.

So I got up to pee (big mistake!) but after the deed was done, I knew I was going to either pass out or throw up (I did both).

My partner called the ambulance and I sat trying to breathe and remember my mantra from earlier.

Well, laughter might be the best medicine, but lemme tell ya, nothing trumps morphine for pain relief! I am truly grateful for the paramedics for their kindness, swift action, and patience. Anyone who can witness people at their most unglamourous and still be lighthearted and kind is a hero in my book.

Thankfully I was triaged quickly and saw a doctor not long after. This has NOT been my experience in the past, so again, my gratitude extends to the nurses and doctor that took such good care of me. I have boundless gratitude for my partner who stroked my hair the whole time too.

By 3am I was released home with the requirements for more testing. This is what I’ve been up to for the last few days. Resting and testing.

But do you know what?

I’ve been taught an incredibly powerful lesson.

And that is…

mindfulness

MINDFULNESS

It’s all well and god to be able to meditate when you’re in the forest. But the practice really shines in the middle of a sh*tstorm.

I’ve done lots of meditation in the past. But I’ve been practising mindfulness meditation for a few weeks now with an app called Headspace. This practice has been invaluable throughout this experience.

When the pain first came on, I managed by focusing on my mantra.

After the first shot of morphine, the paramedics said I really needed to walk down the stairs to the ambulance. With my partner’s steady hand, I was able to walk down the stairs one at a time whilst focusing on my breath.

Once in the stretcher, I placed my hand on my heart. I began to shiver (my go-to stress response) and one of the paramedics said “Try to relax”. Magic words.

I was reminded to reconnect to the breath; to count the rise and fall; to focus on the areas of my body that were comfortable – not just the parts in distress; to let go, rise above and be present.

Whenever a thought intruded about what “could” happen, how long this would last for, and all the terrible “what ifs”, I would panic. I could feel my breath quicken and tears form.

But to remember that this was just one moment of suffering and all I had to do was focus on a deep exhale – it took me out of the terrifying, uncertain future and brought me back into presence.

Even though the present moment is painful, the story we tell ourselves about the pain adds so much more suffering. – click to tweet

Now, as I write, I have to keep reminding myself of this.

At times I catch myself thinking, “Dammit! Why now?! I’m about to launch my coaching practice in a few weeks”.

I think “Who’s going to want to coach with a sick person? What if I don’t get better in time? I shouldn’t be resting, I should be working. I’m letting everyone down and burdening my partner…” etc etc

Plus I worry maybe this is a sign it’s bad timing.

The truth is none of that is true. And even if it were, it doesn’t matter.

There’s never a good time to get sick or have an accident. Being sick is painful, expensive and a big ol’ inconvenience.

But this moment, right now? This is all I have. This is all any of us have.

To me this is a sign that anything can and does change in a heartbeat.

So I will be going ahead with the coaching launch, but it might be different to how I originally planned. Things may change a little here at TAR HQ. I may only be able to publish killer content sporadically, rather than twice a week. I don’t know yet.

But I do know this. In this moment, I will recommit to self love and self care of the highest priority. And to going after my dreams in a way that is loving and sustainable.

I invite you to do the same.

PS – If you know someone who is struggling with ill health right now, I encourage you to reach out to them. Cook them a meal, send them flowers, or offer to take their dog for a walk. Illness can be very isolating, but the power of community and connection is incredibly healing.

{If you’re interested in having a compassionate and creative coach that will help you connect to your truth and help you Change your Mind About your Body - click here}

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Inspiration Broadcast

By Tahlee on April 5, 2013 in Inspiration Broadcast

5 inspirational image quotes to help you Let Go

rise-above-not-salmon source

emerson-quote

time-to-let-go

courage-to-let-go

let-go-kite

Do you struggle with self love? Check out my ’What Self Love Feels Like’ Pinterest board for inspo!

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Ways to Let Go

By Tahlee on April 2, 2013 in Mood

ways-to-let-go

You know those times when you just feel sh*t and you need a little something something to help you do a 180 towards calm?

Well, here it is.

It’s something different from the usual blog post, but I think you’ll like it.

You see, I’ve been getting back into writing music and creating guided meditations, and I’m really loving it.

So I wrote this poem / contemplation about releasing negativity and instead of just writing it down – I’ve recorded it with some relaxing music.

Enjoy.

And if you know someone who could use a 2 minute sigh of relief today, be a doll – share this with them.

ps – If you are reading this in email – you’ll need to click through to play it.

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Inspiration Broadcast

By Tahlee on March 29, 2013 in Inspiration Broadcast

A phenomenal image quote by Brené Brown to help you Dare Greatly

As I was searching for inspiration for today’s broadcast, I found this on Brené’s own website. This quote says it all really.

authenticity

source

Want more inspiration, laughs, healthy food + exercise ideas? Pinterest is where it’s at!

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Revolutionary Review: Daring Greatly

By Tahlee on March 26, 2013 in Revolutionary Review

I’ve been so inspired by Brené Brown’s work, I decided it was high time to share with you why.

A bunch of you have probably seen her TED talk on shame and vulnerability. And you may have even seen her on Oprah’s Super Soul Sunday.

{If you haven’t, please click here immediately to watch a free streaming episode (I’ll wait) because Oprah loved her insights SO MUCH that she invited her back to do another episode straight after!}

How amazing is she?!! Her book Daring Greatly really opened my eyes to how much shame has been a part of my identity. Breaking free from the feelings of unworthiness and building shame resilience is a huge part of my healing.

What it is:

An insightful and practical guide to living authentically, wholeheartedly and courageously, based on Brené’s twelve years of research.

Daring Greatly shows you why vulnerability is a powerful and vital component of human connection. It helps you understand why vulnerability does not equal weakness, and that when you embrace imperfection – you can live your life of awesomeness. As Brene says “vulnerability is at the heart of courage, compassion and creativity”.

There’s also a lot on how to recognise shame and how to build ‘shame resilience’ when you get triggered by feelings of unworthiness. Powerful stuff.

Why I love it:

It’s based in science but is so accessible. Brené doesn’t rely on statistics to make her point, rather she engages with powerful and transformational stories from her years of research.

Why you need it:

If you (like me) identify as a shame based person, this book is an eye opener. See, guilt says “I did something bad”. Shame says “I am bad”. There is a WORLD of difference between these two concepts and shame is highly correlated with eating disorders.

When you do a 180 on shame, your world is opened up to possibility.

So if you’d like to release the total drag that shame holds over your life, and pick up some tools to build the confidence to be vulnerable, open and authentic – please get yourself a copy ASAP!

{Full disclosure – the links contained in this review are affiliate links. This means if you click on the link and decide to purchase, I get some thank you money. There is no pressure to use these links to purchase the book.}

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Inspiration Broadcast

By Tahlee on March 22, 2013 in Inspiration Broadcast

5 inspirational image quotes to help you Access All Areas

source

love-yourself-rest-follow

break-free

liberate-awesome

intuition-wilderness

Want more inspiration, laughs, healthy food + exercise ideas? Pinterest is where it’s at!

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Access All Areas! Your pass to go live your life of awesomeness

By Tahlee on March 19, 2013 in Tude

Inner Bully, Inner Critic, Monsters, The Shadow.

Call it what you will, there is a nasty voice inside your head that holds you back. Sometimes there’s more than one.

No, not the voices telling you to kill all humans.

The ones that keep telling you you’re not X* enough. {Substitute X for good, pretty, thin, rich, smart, funny, buff, tall, petite etc)

For years mine told me that I was fat, ugly, worthless and above all - unlovable.

Seriously. Un. Love. Able.

I was nearly “16 and never been kissed” while all around me friends were dating, flirting and falling in love.

The first person I ever fell in love with didn’t reciprocate.

Between 16 and 20, I could count the number of people I’d kissed on one hand. My best friend ran away. A boyfriend cheated on me.

All this was “evidence” that I was so flawed no one would ever want to be with me. Because my Inner Bullies are excellent at gathering evidence. They’ve honed it down to a fine art.

Every single gram of weight gain was proof of my fat failure. Every scorned love, another notch in the bedpost of unworthiness.

But guess what? I’ve finally figured it out.

Their evidence is false and their reasoning faulty which makes them a bunch of liars.

Here’s why.

As we evolved, our primal ancestors relied on the compliance of the group. Tribal leaders needed the collective to obey and cooperate in order to survive. Rejection and alienation from the group was pretty much a death sentence. Literally.

So our brains are hard wired for social approval.

This results in us being incredibly wary of risk taking – particularly if it involves potential social rejection or perceived humiliation.

So your Inner Bully will make up all kinds of stories to keep you safe because it’s terrified. Every shred of emotion and data gets fed into the story to “prove” it’s factuality, when in actual fact, it’s fiction! Fear fiction.

Ergo – your Inner Bully keeps you safe, but they also keep you stuck and small.

And really, that’s just not a life. Sometimes you need to take risks. Hell, sometimes you really want to. But you probably won’t if you keep listening to that bitchy voice.

I was discussing these very concepts with a friend recently and shared one of my favourite Inner Bully analogies from Tara Mohr.

She brilliantly describes the Inner Bully as “the security guard at the edge of your comfort zone”

As my friend and I were reflecting on this, we discussed how we needed a way to get out of the “safe-stuck-and-small” comfort zone.

And my very clever, wise, insightful friend said “We need to show the security guard that we’ve got permission to get out. We need an Access All Areas pass”.

Cue laughter and high fiving!

Yes, yes we do. We all need an Access All Areas pass for those times you want to bust out of your comfort zone.

Aaaaand here it is!